4th June 2022
One of the things I have come up against a lot when I have been trying to tap into the art of creating is the argument that I had no time in the schedule to produce the work. I totally had not worked out my own systems for creating art around children and a full time job. Believe me when I say that I truly felt in my life that I had no capacity to find the creative energy to even think about producing a painting.
Roll back the years and I had to learn how to create art alongside children when I got pregnant with my first child during the second year of my art degree. I took a year out and returned to complete the third and final year when my daughter was one. Thus my journey of trying to produce art with small children had begun. I suddenly had no time to brood over what I was going to produce and indeed the one thing that I wasn’t doing in the beginning was creating art to support my mental health and well-being. Roll on three children later and a very demanding teacher training course and I was definitely struggling with managing the load as a single parent.
It was at this point that I discovered the power of meditation and journalling. It can seem counter productive to wake up earlier than you have to when your load is already so full it could burst but I discovered the power of waking up early in order to set aside time to do a meditation and journalling practice. I would say that without this practice I definitely would have struggled to hold together the running to the breakfast clubs and child minders whilst trying to ensure that I wasn’t late to catch my train to work. What I wasn’t doing though was making time for any drawing or painting. I was however developing the ability to brain dump in my journal which I would say has had a massive impact on my life.
Previous to starting my teacher training course I was still producing paintings but the rigours of the course were already ingraining in me the idea that there was no way I was going to be making art. When I did become a full time teacher, and in the middle of my career have a fourth child,I was only occasionally affording myself the luxury of making art.
Then, lockdown happened and the political climate turned again. Suffice to say I was stressed, very stressed. I wanted to paint the world and I needed to get out all of the emotions that were now causing me to cry so often. I was angry with myself and I was angry and hurt at the idea that a black man, George Floyd, could be killed in such horrific circumstances. I was drained and I needed to paint. I started painting again and I was literally walking from room to room with a canvas in my hands as I began to find pockets of time for this thing inside me that had to come out.
As I sit and write this I have my baby grandson sitting next to me whilst my 12 year old is sat in his room on his playstation. This year I have also found the value in sharing ideas with other artists and I have to give a huge shout out to @artmumsunited, @monalerchwallart for the coaching via the training course run by Mona.
My studio space has finally gravitated outside of the bedroom and is now infiltrating its way into the living room but one day I know that I will have my dream studio space. I think that it is so important that we all show up for ourselves because ultimately we have to have a part of our lives that is just for us.
